Aristotle wrote a chapter on friendship in his Nicomachean Ethics book which I find very insightful. He categorized friendship into 3 different types. He believes friendships are either rooted in utility, pleasure, or virtue. A utility based friendship is a friendship where both people are gaining something beneficial for themselves. For example, a person may be getting tutored by someone, and that’s the extent of their relationship. It’s easy to think that this type of friendship is a kind where someone is being used, which makes it seem less than a virtuous form of friendship. However Aristotle states, “Now those who love each other because of utility do not love each other for themselves but in virtue of some good which they get from each other.” For my example, the person being tutored is hoping to gain a better grade, and the person doing the tutoring may be hoping for some form of extra credit. I think Aristotle’s quote is saying, the fact that people in a utility based friendship are getting something beneficial by being in the friendship is what makes the friendship good.
Aristotle then talks about about friendships that are based on pleasure. These friendships seem pretty simple; people in these kinds of relationships are those who gain a pleasurable/pleasant feelings/experiences when they’re in them. In the lecture we discussed that people that are in a club or maybe even a sports team might qualify in being friendships rooted in pleasure. Aristotle believes young people are more susceptible to forming pleasure based friendships. I believe it’s because those kind of friendships a person experiences gratification a bit faster than any form of friendship. For example, if a person is in a book club, they already know they’re going to be talking about something they’re interested in. They won’t have to work very hard to experience that pleasurable aspect of the relationship. Aristotle also explained, “Such friendships [utility and pleasure] then, are easily dissolved…” I think it’s because people change very frequently, and what will be considered pleasurable or of utility to them.
The friendships that are considered true friendships/virtuous are those in which people have similar virtues who also wish well unto each other. This form of friendship is the least conditional of the other two. Aristotle states, “Now those who wish well to their friends for their own nature and not incidentally; therefore their friendship lasts as long are both—and goodness is an endearing thing” This form of friendship seems as if it’s rooted in love and respect, where both people wish each other the best. This may be a friend encouraging a person to study, by supporting them through the process. This kind of friendship is the kind I believe I have with my friends. I love them all and I truly want to see them succeed in life. I’ll still remain friends with them even if I don’t agree with their actions. If it brings them happiness, then I’m happy.
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